5 Hairstyles Zayn Could Have Had

Once upon a time, in a far off land, lived a handsome peasant struggling to live. He had three sisters and a mother to feed, but never enough money to feed himself. Despite his small body, he had long, flowing black hair that the townspeople described as “A gift that could only be from Heaven itself.”

One day, the king announced that he was holding a contest where the fairest musician of the land would win enough money to feed his family for the rest of their lives. The peasant was ecstatic as his voice had also been described as “A gift that could only be from Heaven itself.”

The day came for the townspeople to audition, and by the blessing of his hair and voice, the peasant made it through to the next round of the competition. However, the king thought the peasant would fit much better if he sang in a group with other talented men in the town. Therefor, the peasant was put into a group called “Oneth Directioneth” alongside a baker, a craftsman, a minstrel, and a jester.

Oneth Directioneth didn’t win the king’s contest, but went on to tour the kingdoms with their perfect hair and angelic voices. They toured for years until the peasant decided he was tired AF.

“I am tired AF,” he announced, and rode home.

The kingdoms grieved and waited patiently to see the peasant’s beauty in public again.

But then one day he showed up to a party with a shaved head. The kingdoms combusted into a fiery wrath and everyone died.

The End.




Zayn’s new hair, or lack thereof, has really taken a toll on the world. Honestly, there are so many more options than shaving his head. Let’s take a look at some of them.


1. A Mullet


Maybe we’re 30 years behind, but at least this way he’ll still have hair.


2. The Michael Clifford


Just remember to use conditioner because we all saw how fast Mikey’s hair thinned…


3. The 2013 Zayn


If Calum brought the streak back, so can you!


4. The Tyler Oakley




5. The Hannah Montana


You want the best of both worlds. So stay in One Direction, and then find a wig to become a “norman 22 year old.” This solves everything.


How much would you pay for the remainder of Zayn’s shaved hair? Let us know @FakeTeamFangirl


Lindsay Webster is a senior electronic media major. She thinks Luke’s hair is the fairest of them all. @webbylinster